Adventure Fantasy Day

Every so often I like to query my friends about how they'd spend a dream day. Time travel, teleportation and magic all exist in this fantasy realm. Usually I get a bevy of diverse responses to this semi-annual CFE, but this round was marked by low turnout and strikingly similar fantasy scenarios by 50% of participants.

SAM
wake up with the dawn in a woodsy lodge, full of energy. do yoga and enjoy it, then eat a light, oatmeal breakfast. then it's hiking time, and i hike in the brisk air up a hill in a woods:

upon my return, i have a business lunch (croque monsieur) with a surprise guest: an editor who wants me to write a book for money.

then it's pool/spa time. it's raining cats and dogs, but it makes the pool (pictured here) that much cozier!


after that, i get a call from someone who wants me to make and star in a movie. so i've got that going for me too. then it's time for dinner outside at dumont with my best girlz--burgers, ladies, am i right?--then we jam the night away, dancing, loving and whatnotting!

ERIN
I would time travel back to November 25th, 1976 to the Winter Ballroom in San Francisco and play tambourine in The Band's final farewell concert and then use my sexual mind control powers to bang Levon Helm & Rick Danko immediately after. Then I'd teleport every single person who participated in the concert (with the exception of Van Morrison and Michael McClure) to Mexico where we'd party for three consecutive days on the beach. Over those three days I'd become Eric Clapton's number one girl and we'd get hitched and live a life of wealth, excess and sexual healing together forever. I'd also become Emmylou Harris's best friend. Joan Baez would feel left out, but, you know, that's how it goes. I can't be best friends with EVERYONE. This game is kind of depressing.

LINDSAY
It's 1972 Los Angeles. I am 25 years old, a size 4, and working on the McGovern campaign. I go to a campaign event, some fancy dinner, and meet Warren Beatty. He asks me if I want to see his mansion. We go back to his place, get high, and bang each other.

NAOMI
I wake up in my pied-à-terre in Paris. My boyfriend Javier Bardem and I decided to fly out last night to go a party.

There are croissants and great coffee waiting for us when we rise. Before we get out of bed Javier insists on giving me head. Who can say no? That happens, then we eat the croissants in bathrobes on the balcony. With every bite of croissant, I lose a pound. I eat two croissants and at ten bites each I am at my goal weight. Looking fabulous, I leave the apartment and Javier to hang out with my best pals in mid 1980s New York. We go shopping and buy everything we want. I see a cheap townhouse in the West Village for sale and buy it. It's a great price and I have a feeling the value will appreciate.

We meet up with my other friends Jeff Koons, Jenny Holzer, Karen Finley, Dara Birnbaum and Nan Goldin to go to a performance at The Kitchen. Then it's contemporary times again and, thanks to my intimate involvement with the art scene in the 80s (what was really mere minutes ago), I am a famous artist. I head to my opening at Gagosian. The work looks great and the turnout is spectacular. My best friends and I head to my West Village townhouse to have dinner. Tom Colicchio is hard at work cooking. I tell him to take a break and come upstairs for a minute. We fuck. Back downstairs, dinner is being served when there's a knock on the door. It's Javier come to surprise me! What a sweetie. We finish dinner and then head to a party that's playing all the best music. We dance all night and do a few drugs nothing major. Then we sleep deeply.

Back In The New York Groove

Ace Freely sang it and I DID it this weekend. I ventured back from whence I came only one fortnight ago. I flew Delta to Laguardia which was awesome. It was a small plane which freaked me out at first, but it was such a relaxing new plane with tons of leg room that I chilled right out. They came around with a tray of snacks and the flight wasn't even half full so I got to stretch out a lot. Just a super time! No lines, no waiting at the gorgeous Marine Terminal.


Sam and I caught up over sandwiches. Then we ran some errands and went to Big Bar for drinks with Lacey and Hannah. I was so excited to see more than one friend in one place after my lonely two weeks in Chicago that I got really really drunk. Sam and I went home to watch the debates. I was really proud that Obama got tough and said he'd kill Bin Laden and crush Al-Qaeda. Way to go. He should have been doing that all along. That's what people want to hear. I slept through the last 1/3. When I woke up I haz hangover. But Sam mad me go out anyway! I'm glad he did because not only did I have a fun time with Adrienne and Chapman in Williamsburg, I also found a NEW flavor of Collisions Doritos (more on this later).

Saturday was day #1 of my performance "Throwing Things That Break" (which I'm considering retitling "The Mess I Made" (please weigh in)). The first performance was under attended, but it was good to work out the kinks with minimal spectators. Between performances Sam and I shared a sandwich and went to a bookstore. The second performance of the day went well. Erin arrived just in time to capture the "happening" on video. Other attendees included Adrienne, Chapman, Gene, Barbara, Emily, Luke and Aunt Audrey. Thanks for coming everyone!!


Saturday night was Sam's bday dinner at Pacifico. Very delicious and fun. Then I met up with the Chain for a slightly disorganized but enjoyable evening out.

Sunday was day #2 of performancing. It also went well and thanks for braving the rain to come see it all! Brunch at Superfine was not actually superfine. It was more like mediocrepassable. Sam and I took a walk to Red Hook to look at bikes. On the way we saw Jonathan Franzen at a bookstore. He was working on his MacBook. So now we know he uses a Mac.
 
Almost immediately after seeing JF we saw a DUCK KILLING FACTORY. The door of this no-windows building was open and duck guts were strewn all over the floor and there was tons of squawking. Sam said he had to become vegetarian and I said 'grow a pair' and he said, 'you're right.'


Then I went to Greenpoint while Sam napped. Hannah and I got crazy with some Bud Lights, Gossip Girl and the new Collisions Doritos Ranch/Pizza Cravers. Honestly, I was underwhelmed. The pizza flavor had some mild Italian inspired spices, but other than that tasted pretty much like regular Nacho Cheese. The ranch was also too mild and tasted like a sub-par Cool Ranch. Taken together the sensation wasn't anything to write home about, but it was something to write blog about.

After that I headed into the city to get a drink with Adam who had just returned from a posh Hamptons wedding. Adrienne and Chapman were cooking dinner, so we headed over after taking exactly two sips of our drinks. They made a chicken/rice thing and broccoli with lemon butter sauce. Adrienne prepared an amazing chocolate mousse dessert with homemade raspberry whipped cream. It was delicious. We talked a lot about deaf culture, circumcision and graphic novels. On the subway ride home, we saw Ronnie from Bravo's 'Make Me A Supermodel.' Sam said he would missed connections him, but I don't know if he actually did.


On the runway at Laguardia AIR FORCE ONE rolled by my window.

It was kind of exciting. Big police escort. I got home yesterday afternoon and had some Jew food with Mom and Dad.

Unrelatedly, this is my favorite song and video.


Finally, here is the most recent installment of Thursd-eggs c/o Snugget and Vanessa.

Leftov-eggs

You know what I love? Cleaning out the refrigerator. I love eating that one last caper floating in the bottom of the glass jar, squeezing out that last drop of yellow mustard, chopping up the final few leaves of parley. And so this week was Leftov-eggs. I wasn't born during the Great Depression but hell if ain't ready for the Greatest Depression!
 
Ingredients:

4 eggs
1 tablespoon cooking oil
1/4 onion
1/2 spicy chorizo (sometimes called Spanish chorizo)
handful of whatever cooked green vegetable you have lying around your fridge. We used charred kale and it was delish
salt and pepper

Heat tablespoon of cooking oil in a heavy-bottomed pan until fragrant but not smoking. While it's heating up, finely chop the onion and whisk the eggs with salt and pepper. Add onions to pan. It's ok if they brown. After 4 or 5 minutes they should be cooked through. Chop the chorizo into half inch pieces. Add them to the pan of onions. The chorizo is already cooked so the goal here is to just brown the bits and make them crispy. Once browned add the already cooked green to the pan to warm it all up. Remove from heat. If using the same pan for your eggs take out the onion mixture and allow the pan to cool for 2 minutes. Wipe out pan. Heat on medium with some butter or oil in the pan if you are not using cast iron or a non-stick pan.

Add eggs stirring constantly. They will start to firm up. Once they are cooked to your prefered consistency pile the onion mixture on top and serve.

Changes & Guest Bloggers Snugget and Vanessa

Since my last post, I've moved to Chicago for my fall semester abroad. I had a great going away party and an even better HELLO party upon arrival. Here are some pics.




I'll talk more about my big life changes later, but in the meantime, Snugget and Vanessa have graciously invited us join them in their latest culinary adventure: Thurs-deggs. Here Snugget describes how this genius idea unfolded:


This week an egg-shaped light bulb went off in my head. “We need a weekly breakfast to be excited about,” I thought. As it was Tuesday, and a day’s notice didn’t seem fair, I suggested Thurs-deggs. I like routines and plays on words, so this was eggs-actly what the doctor ordered. Plus Vanessa likes to cook and I like to eat. Egg-gain…perfect. So this Thursday we premiered Thurs-deggs, which will hopefully be a weekly egg-ccurrence featuring new and egg-citing or old and classic and all down right delicious breakfast egg-stravaganzas!

Sept 18: Breakfast Tacos

 

With little warning for the inaugural Thurs-deggs we had to make do with what we had in the old refrigerator. There was a jar of salsa, half an avocado and some small corn tortillas. Bingo, bango, breakfast tacos!

Vanessa hails from sunny Los Angeles, California, a city rich in Mexican heritage, so I had no doubt these would be very authentic.

Here is how she made them:

Thurs-deggs Breakfast Tacos (because burritos are too large when you're eating at 6:50 am)
Serves: 2

Ingredients:

4 corn tortillas
half an avocado, sliced
4 eggs (room temperature if possible)
Tablespoon of butter
4 tablespoons salsa
Sriracha (optional)
salt and pepper

Crack eggs in a large bowl and whisk for a minute or two until the yolks and whites are fully integrated. Place a small saucepan on medium heat and add butter. Let it slosh around. Once the butter starts to bubble but before it browns, add the eggs. Stir constantly, scraping down the sides and folding the eggs over with a wooden spoon. Before the eggs are completely cooked turn of heat. Continue to stir eggs. Now, turn on another burner on high. Place the tortillas on one at a time, flipping them over so they heat and brown evenly on both sides. Place two tortillas on each plate, evenly divide the eggs. Pile the avocado and salsa on top. Add Sriracha if you enjoy the spicy.

No Camera Can Capture It All: Alison, Jeremy and I Go To Israel

These fateful words, uttered by the Israel Outdoors staff photographer while trying to squeeze everyone into the frame of our group picture, proved prophetic. Nothing could sum up the vast array of emotions we felt over this 10 day trip. Though this picture comes pretty close:


This first thing we learned was not to trust our guide. She lied to us. Repeatedly. Our schedule for the first day was an "easy" 20 minute hike and kayaking in the Jordan River which probably wouldn't contain much water (if any). What ensued was a 2 hour death march and rafting (in one of those inflatable things - see below) in a fully full river. I thought I was going to die. The hike through the Galilee mountains was beautiful. Unfortunately I was so busy looking at my feet, struggling to get over enormous rocks and maneuvering through narrow passages that the physical beauty of the landscape largely evaded me. By the end of the hike (which we actually cut short because people were struggling so much), I was on the verge of hyperventilating, sweaty beyond belief and very annoyed that we'd been deceived. Since we were told the "kayaking" wouldn't involve us getting wet (since the river would be almost entirely depleted of water), I decided to go in fully clothed. Total mistake. I got completely drenched. On our ride down the river, we ran into a group of rowdy Hasidic school boys who disobeyed every single rule the rafting guy told us. They were swimming in the river, splashing around everywhere. Fantastic. Luckily, our rafting buddies were Luke and Emily, two people with even worse attitudes than mine and Alison's. We talked smack on everyone else in the group and really bonded. Love you guys!!
PLUS

The rest of the trip was spent trying to gauge how much of what we were told was a lie and trying to adjust our attire accordingly.

Highlights:

1. All the kinds of Doritos. They weren't as good as American Doritos (of course), but it was fun to try them. They were much thinner and had less powder flavoring on them. This one tasted like curry!


2. The desert waterfall. Very pretty!!


3. All the hiking. Despite the fact that it was exactly 1000 degrees Celsius every single day we were there and I've never sweat so much and so consistently over such a long period of time, the hiking was really fun. I never get to do stuff like that at home. It felt great to actually finish the really hard hikes and see the viewpoints [sic] at the top. Hiking Masada was particularly feelgoody. Here we are, red-faced and sweaty beyond belief.


4. When I took this picture:


5. Becoming friends with Luke and Emily. AAWWWWW!!


6. Learning about bomb disposal robots! The police evacuate areas when they discover an unattended bag or package in a public place. Then they send in a robot that destroys the bomb! So cool! We heard the whole thing go down when we were at the Western Wall. They said stuff over the PA system, telling everyone that there was a suspicious package. Then there was another announcement that there would be a robot bomb noise in a few minutes. The soldiers translated this for us, but our leader didn't think it was important enough to tell us what was about to happen and kept lecturing about the Second Temple. Cool, good call Michal. No one will notice or be scared of the loud bomb noise. Anyway, it was a pretty substantial sound. Totally cool. Here's an example of a BDR:


After a while it became clear that the bus driver Yossi was stealing our water bottles so that we'd buy his instead. Every time we left water on our seats for an activity, we'd return to the bus unable to find them. Very clever Yossi. Great entrepreneurial mind.
 

Some things I learned:

1. Israelis love Israel. A lot. This was kind of surprising. Since the land of Israel is so significant primarily because of its religious importance, I assumed that secular Israelis (most Israelis) wouldn't feel that tied to it. Wrong! Totally wrong. They are so patriotic. It's kind of weird, but I guess it makes sense. It's strange because Israel is comprised of mostly displaced people (people who weren't born IN Israel). Lots came over after the Holocaust and in the early 20th century. So in that way, it's a lot like America, where patriotism is prevalent but maybe less based on the idea that the specific land is what's important.

2. Israelis are assholes. Not really, but like kind of. They have an incredibly brisk attitude and arrogance that is really offputting. I knew this going in, but it was pretty surprising to interact with a whole nation of jerks all at once. Our guide Michal, who ended up being great and very knowledgeable and accommodating, was so quintessentially Israeli. Whenever we were on a hike and she found herself not in the absolute front, she'd plow through the group screaming, 'Sorry, I just want to be first!' This really sums up the Israeli Weltanschauung. Sorry! They just want to be first! They're gonna take it all no matter who stands in their way. SORRY!! Sorry I just want to be first should be the state motto of Israel.

3. Israel looks like southern California. One of these is Israel and one is Griffith Park. Can you tell which one is which?!?!
 

4. There is a lot of America in Israel. I knew we put tons of money into the military there (one of our guard's bullet holders had U.S. on it), but I had no idea about the proliferation of American TV, products and language in Israel. So much of the signage is just English transliteration. It's not that they don't have words for things in Hebrew. They just choose not to use them. This was really weird and much more widespread than European adoption of American words.
 



5. Israeli soldiers are pussies. Who knew?!!? I think they get so used to having their guns with them they stop actually being tough. Two of the girls didn't make it all the way up Masada because of a headache and a fear of heights. Ohad had to have his mommy pick him up from the bus because he was feeling sick. Man, so lame. It made me feel super strong and powerful. I'm tougher than soldiers!!


6. There is a lot of garbage in Israel. Mostly in the country. The cities are pretty clean.
 

7. The Western Wall has a women only section that is 1/4 the size of them men's section. This was really shocking, but I guess it was naive not to expect it. Women are relegated to the periphery in all other aspects of Jewish culture, so why not here at the most holy site.

By the end of the trip everyone had gotten terrible ill and was afflicted with various intestinal and respiratory ailments. I'm still 100% sick.

Overall the trip was a nice diversion from normal life and it was great to spend time with Alie and Jeremy. Thanks to the American Jewz for sending me on the trip of a lifetime for free!!!!!! You really did yourselves a disservice because now I hate religion more than ever.

Swedish Fish Weekend

This weekend I went to DC to visit Erin. I sat next to a really smelly man the whole ride. When we got there, the first thing we did was head to Virginia to get fish pedicures.

We were nervous and excited. The sanitation at the salon was questionable. They forced us to wear these skanky rubber flip flops that were definitely not cleaned after every use. The salon was also really weird. They had free buffalo wings. Like tons and tons of buffalo wings. Also free strawberries in a clear vase (not a nice way to display strawberries in summer (condensation=unappetizing)). We were brought back to the tanks and in we went! I could not stop laughing at first. One because it was extremely tickley and two because helloo there were tons of fish eating my feet! A lot of the other people were being hysterical at first too. The fish nibbled at my toes for a really long time. They just didn't stop! Finally I got out of the tank and the pedicure was finished regular style. All in all, I was not very impressed. The fish didn't make my feet incredible smooth and the sensation they provided was not pleasurable. I will not be getting another fish pedicure, but I'm not that upset I did it once.

Here is Erin's recap of the fish pedi:

To preface. I hate Virginia. I hate most people from Virginia, I hate the buildings there, I hate the way they arrange their highways and streets, I hate the way Virginian's drive, I hate the tobacco and Republicans and slavery and plantations. However, as it turns out. I do not hate the fish they have there that eat dead skin off of peoples feet.

The place was very nondescript, in a strip mall, beside a Domino's (which is relevant, just wait). This lady/boy washed our feet which felt a little biblical and weird. Naomi didn't want to put on the flip flops they provided cos she thought she'd get diseased. But like. HER feet were covered in poison ivy which I'm sure would have canceled it out.

Finally they put us on these benches side by side with our feet in these tanks of little inch long fishes. It was hard for me to put my feet in the first time, cos I do NOT like aquatic life. As soon as my feet hit the water the fish ATTACKED. It was a really weird sensation. Like tiny little sucking mouths all over your feet (not sexually, gross, they're fish).

Our first reaction was hysterical laughter. I attribute the laughter to three different things: 1. it tickles, 2. the situation is patently ridiculous, and 3. it makes you kind of nervous to have fish gnaw at your feet. Serious laughter too. Like to the point of tears. Then things settled down.

There was a really nice man (he was featured on the GMA segment I think, NAOMI: do a link) who was really proud of his little fishes and all they were doing for our feet. He told us that everyone who does the fish for the first time has a few minutes of hysterical laughter, which made me feel better about causing a scene. THEN this other lady came to get her feet eaten. She had driven down all the way from New York just for the fish treatment! She was really nuts. She cracked up and kept cracking up for a long time. And also grabbed the lady next to her (who she did not know).

Anyway. It was kind of weird but not painful or anything. Then they take you out of the tank and do your nails the regular way. They also served us buffalo wings from dominoes! Like a lot of them! Which has never happened to me before in my many years of nail maintenance.

We inspected our feet afterwards, and we both agreed that the fish were not really effective. I think they would have been if we had been in there for an hour as opposed to 15 minutes. OR if they had really gone to town on our calluses before hand. But it was fun. I wouldn't go again unless I had another out of town guest, cos I bet they would think it was fun and funny and worth the 40 bucks it cost us.

So in conclusion. The only thing coming out of Virginia that I don't HATE is fish pedicures. And the Neptunes.


After that we got some drinks and snacks with Erin's friends and saw her brother's band play. I got pretty sleepy, but I had fun.

Saturday we hung out at Faith's pool. Real relaxing. Then we got home in time for CRABFEAST. Very delicious.


Sunday we saw Mamma Mia! It was a really fun, totally bizarre movie. It also reminded me that Super Trouper is a gorgeous song.

Camera Obscura's cover of it is pretty special too. Listen here!

Getting Matrimonized

I guess I'm at an age when my contemporaries will start getting married. It's a weird feeling since I am barely responsible enough to have my own debit card. So here it happens in two weeks I go to two weddings.

WEDDING 1: EMMA AND ALEX, JUNE 21, MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA
My role: Bridesmaid

It takes a very long time to get to Martha's Vineyard from New York. Like almost 10 hours. It was pretty annoying. But then I got there and it was beautiful. It's a weird place that feels a bit out of time. A lot of places on the island are "dry" which I don't understand and is freaky and Puritanical. The actual wedding was at Alex's mom's house (I think). It is a really huge house with a pool and other houses that are part of the house, y'know? I was a very delinquent bridesmaid and arrived about 20 minutes before the ceremony started. Instead of flowers, all the bridesmaids carried HERB BOUQUETS. I got rosemary.

I felt bad for the girl who got parsley :(
The ceremony was incredibly short. Afterwards we had hors d'oeuvres like mini burgers with Big Mac sauce and smoked salmon croque monsieurs. Alex is in a band called Ambulance LTD so there were tons of rock stars there. Hi Devendra!

The rock stars also did lots of drugs at/during dinner and couldn't identify the fig in their salads ("Is that a pomegranate?") Fun time!

Then it took many hours to get back home, but luckily Emma's sister and husband drove me all the way (so nice thanks guys!) and there was a baby involved.
Congrats Emma and Alex! I hope you don't get divorced EVER!!!

WEDDING 2: SAM AND CELINA, JUNE 28, PASADENA, CA
My role: best man's date

Planets aligned this weekend. Juliette and I were both nuptially obligated and decided to do an apartment swap. She ended up not staying in my apartment because of a Norwegian intervention, so I really got the long end of the swap stick (kinky!). I rented a car so I could be a real independent woman. I got a cute little Kia. It was so cute. Its blue hue matched all my outfits and brought out my eye color. Right when I got in, I met Noah and Jeremy for brunch. Noah bought a rug for super cheap (picture TK - pls check back). I spilled the beans about Alison and Joe getting engaged (which will likely be my next marriage-themed blog post). They were mad she hadn't told them, but whatever. Not my fault!
I got to Juliette's apartment and it was so nice. It's so cute. Like my Kia.
Jeremy and I went shopping and hung out by the pool. Then Mike and Noah met up with us for dinner at Gingergrass. Boiz night out!!! We went to Red Lion to wait for a table. The waitress at Red Lion was a TOTALLY NUTSOWEIRDO and kept getting mad that we were playing games with toothpicks. Bitch.
Gingergrass was delicious. Definitely go there.
Then we went to The Roost which is like 4th Avenue Pub, but more red and seedy inside. The Roost also plays better music. Really they're only similar because they both have free popcorn. The boiz and I had a heated Rock/Paper/Scissors contest. I came out victorious! All the boiz think it's a skill game. They were all figuring out odds and junk like 3!. Whatever. I have decided that it's more of a people-reading game than a skill game. Anyway, I'm the best in the world. Here Mike and Jeremy think about their next move.

After Mike won a round he'd yell I KNEW IT I KNEW IT. Very fun time.
After that we went to the Smog Cutter where we ran into Sam Solomon who we all knew from different places. So weird! Noah sang 'Family Affair' and a stranger did 'Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)' so I was happy.

Friday Mike and I got an early breakfast before he went to work. Then Ken and I went to LACMA to see the new Broad wing (BCAM) and the Chicano exhibit. Julio Cesar Morales' work was some of my favorite in the show.

The new wing was pretty beautiful. It reminded me of the Centre Pompidou because the stairs are on the outside.
 
The elevator was enormous and slow. The elevator shaft is Barbara Krueger decorated.

Every floor featured a Broad bio which was pretty tasteless. Also some of the work was a little cramped up. Like they put too much big stuff in all the smallish galleries. Overall I liked it, but I can understand why someone wouldn't.

Then Ken and I comparison tasted Peet's Coffee and Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. CBTL won. We also ate some sub par macaroons.

That night I met Noah in Pasadena for the rehearsal dinner. It was outside and lovely. Good food and great music (co-curated by me and Noah). I got a parking ticket though which was totally lame.

Saturday I met Priya for brunch. My new best gf!! Then Mike and I went to his secret laundry/hot tub/tennis spot and jammed by the pool. We saw the Indian guy from Heroes. I don't watch Heroes.


The ceremony was at Town Hall in Pasadena which is idyllic and beautiful. There were cocktails AT the ceremony. Totally awesome. There was a mariachi band. The ceremony was incredibly short (pattern?). No one could hear anything. But I just guessed what they were saying. Then Sam stomped the glass and the party got CRUNKED. We hung around and ate some apps and drank some drinks. I had two Coronas and a Miller light. Then we went to the reception at the Westin. I got to sit at the head table! I ordered a dirty martini. Celina's dad Jose gave the first speech. Now, I don't want to be racial, but it was a little bit sick. He talked all about her dresses and how beautiful she looked in the dresses she'd worn throughout her life. The whole thing was about the wedding dress and what a symbolic item that was for a woman, but it was kind of creepy. And then the father daughter dance. Yich I don't know. Maybe it's cultural. Anyway, Jose is very nice and I'm sure he's never done anything inappropriate with his daughter. That's what matters! Then I drank some champagne. Then we ate salad. Then Noah gave his speech. He was so nervous but it was really excellent. Kind of went for the funny-but-mostly-sincere-and-sweet style. Great job Noah!!


After that we danced a lot. The band was great and played hip hop covers (including Usher's 'Yeah') which is always an impressive and entertaining feat. I drank a glass of white wine. I ate halibut (very tasty!). The grandma danced so much that she fell down and broke her wrist. Uh ohs! Then I drank whiskey. I got a crush on this 16 yr old cousin from Mexico. She was the best dancer ever! She was wearing the cutest patterned dress. She had the same wig as me but a cooler cut with bangs and little curl tendrils around the face. I was totally jamazed. I thought of myself at 16. I could barely move my body enough to get from my house to school and here this coolgrrrl was moving around with total confidence and style. I love her. At 10 I got sleepy, but there was still 3 hours of party left. Noah suggested a Red Bull and vodka. That shit WORK. Who knew?! It tasted like jell-o, but it woke me the fuck up. We danced more and then went to sleep. It was a great great wedding. Everyone was so friendly. The band was awesome. I got to dance a lot. I barely had to talk to any strangers. Thanks for inviting me Noah! Congrats Sam and Celina. I also hope you never get divorced!

Sunday Mike and I took a drive to Malibu and then to Los Feliz for pie.

I had a late dinner with Ken and headed to the airport at an ungodly hour. I slept the entire flight home, but was still able to be disgusted by the bible reader sitting next to me. Between making notes in the margins of her Book, she took bites of her full french toast breakfast and full egg breakfast. Yes, two breakfasts in separate containers which she continued to devour during the course of the 6 hour flight.

I got back to a very unpleasant cab ride and work and humidity.