Middle West = Best

This weekend I had an awesome adventure time in Chicago. My vaca happened to coincide with the most hectic close in Allure history, for which I gave myself a hefty pat on the back. After my 6:10 am flight was straight up canceled, I wandered LaGuardia hoping to fly standby sometime before my 1:00 pm automatically rebooked flight departed. LaGuardia is truly the most depressing airport in America with the least appealing food options ever. I ended up eating Auntie Anne's Cinnamon Sugar Pretzel Sticks at about 6:30 am out of sheer boredom. It was fucking disgusting. Even more disturbing though was the fact that Auntie Anne's had the hot dog pretzels ready to go at that hour. Piles upon piles of pretzel wrapped hot dogs were sitting in the warming case. Who is going to eat a fucking pretzel dog at 6 in the morning? I know most people are very very beastly, but that's pushing it.

I got on an 8:30 flight and was home by 11. Dad has a new tai chi regiment. His drawn instructions have been replaced with photographed choreography. I guess that means he's moving up?


Zoe and I had lunch with mom and saw her new office (nice digs). Then we went shopping and just hung out like sisters do y'know? We went to this vegan restaurant for Zoe's bday dinner. It was fun and everyone got along.
Cute girls!

Dad and I were the only ones drinking of course.

Then we showed our teeth.

Then Mom and Zoe did tons of drugs in the bathroom. Omg jk!!!

They did them at the table.

Friday I got a much needed pedicure and less needed manicure. They scraped off so much dry skin from my heels. It was fucking insane. My pedicure took twice as long as Zoe's for this reason. After my lady was done, she was like, 'Wanna look?' There was a mound of dead skin on the newspaper. Really disgusting. But now my feet are soft as can be!! Haley arrived that evening. We rushed home for cocktail hour for which Zoe prepared some delicious apps.

We also had prosecco and some vegan spreads and shit. It was yums. Mom got drunk!

Dad got a hairs cut!

Nice bald spot, Zoe!


After apps, Haley and I went to Sweets and Savories primarily to sample their duck fat frites. We also ordered a Kobe Beef burger to share which they split into two mini burgs (too cute!). I got mine with fois gras because I'm not a huge d-bag loser who is scared of eating livers.

Everyone should go to Sweets and Savories. They are super attentive, but not overly so. They also provide complementary lavender truffles at the end of the meal. They are struggling for business. Just go there now. Bring friends.

We went to The Hideout after dinner. The outdoor area smelled like nacho cheese, but whatever. Here's Haley sippin' and lookin'.

Then we met up with Jeremy who was wearing a really gay hat. We went to The Happy Village which was incredibly packed. Adrienne, Chapman, Daniel, Ben, Alison and Noah were also there. Fun time!

Alie wearing Jeremy's faghat.

Then we went to some other bars and met up with other people etc etc.

Saturday Zoe, Haley, and I went to the salon for more beauty things. After that we went to Arturo's for Mexican food. Haley ordered what she thought was a pork burrito, but ended up being a burrito full of just pork skin. It was the nastiest thing I've ever seen. It looked like overgrown larvae rolling in rice. Eew eew eew.

Then we went to Village.


We got to Pitchfork at around 4, in time to see Battles who used to have a really dope website, but apparently abandoned it for a soulless Myspace template. Regardless, we didn't watch Battles b/c we were too busy sneaking Haley into VIP and then gorging on free Chipotle, ice cream and beer. VIP was just great. Great great great. There were tons of benches, short(er) lines, and more attractive people. Overall, I thought the festival was alright. A lot of the bands were ill-suited to the venue. Professor Murder, Clipse, Girl Talk, and even Cat Power (barf) were all totally lost in the large setting. Really I just don't like concerts that much. It makes me feel icky when I see the crowd of people attracted by music I like. I don't like what it implies about me. I like the free stuff and having an excuse to sit outside and drink lots of beer. For that, Pitchfork was perfect. It was also such a treat to see my friends from Sound Opinions. Even Barry (who I haven't seen in years) was there!

Nice Robin.


The was the best thing that happened all weekend. Aw!!


Sunday (Zoe's 21st birthday!!!!!) saw more thrifting at a different Village.
.
Haley scored me some nice boots and a sweet denim sleeveless shirt. Thanks Girlmachine! After that was beachtyme, for which Jeremy met us. I learned that the sand at Lake Michigan is NOT naturally occurring. I was shocked. Here's Haley, boobs blazing, practicing for her upcoming stint at Abu Ghraib.

Too soon?

After the beach, Haley had to hop the El and go back east. Jeremy and I proceeded to the second day of the festival which was much the same as the first. I thought New Pornographers and Of Montreal did a nice job. Prince Paul was a fun surprise at De La Soul.
To summarize:
1. I don't like concerts.
2. I do like free things (especially if 'things' means 'ice cream and beer')
3. I do like music.
4. I do like sitting outside sometimes.
5. I don't like crowds of douche bags.
6. I do like Chicago a LOT.
7. As long as S/O keeps providing me with free VIP passes to this festival, I will keep attending.


My trip home went off pretty seamlessly, save for a few terrifying encounters with an impressively facial haired and body odored woman.

Glad to be back :) Missing the middle though :(

Two Mini Breaks and FAME

A lot of things have happened recently. Chiefly I went on a couple of vacations and became a ceWEBrity.

I. CHICAGO

I thought it'd be a good idea to cram in the vacations before I start my new job since my vacation allotment is less than generous. So first stop on the Pre-Job Vacation Extravaganza was Chicago. I love going home because my parents are the abso best. Also my sis Zoe was home and she's always good for a laugh and some shopping. My dad started taking tai chi because he's getting old and that's what people do when they get old. He does it at least once a day and even wears special shoes for it. Too cute!! The positions have fun names like single whip and ward off left.


I didn't do much at home. I went shopping with Zoe a lot, hung out with mom and dad, and watched tons of tv.

Nice nails, Zo!


We went out for a family dinner at legendary Indian restaurant Tiffin. It was excellent and the service was impeccable.
Cute!!!


A while ago Zoe and Dad found themselves home alone for a week or so. The rest of the fam wondered how they were getting along, just the two of them in the apartment. An idea for a sitcom was born. It would be a Perfect Strangers style set-up with the tagline, 'She's vegan. He's 70!'


I also saw my friend Robin. We ate Korean BBQ. I love how many little things they bring you with your dish.


Home was nice and relaxing. I had a terrible time flying out because of a thunderstorm. I don't want to recount it. It's just your normal frustrating air travel saga and it'll make me mad to think about it. I did see Lisa Ling in the airport in the same situation as thousands of other stranded passengers. I wanted to take a picture and submit it to the "Stars Just Like Us!" feature in US Weekly.

II. CEWEBRITY STATUS

Some angels (named Brian and John) helped make me a total ceWEBrity this weekend. They submitted my Tasting Rachael Ray video to Gawker. In the subsequent 7 hours it got picked up by several food blogs, Best Week Ever, Fleshbot and some other random blogs. My website visits went from 6 on Thursday to 10,385 on Friday. My bandwidth is like almost gone. I'm such a giddy girl! Also the guy who made Hamburger America George Motz is curating a Food Film Festival this summer in NYC and asked me to be part of it. I've seen Hamburger America tons of times -- in part because of Sundance Channel's commitment to biweekly screenings, but also because I love burgers and it's a fun little film. The point to Item II is that I am really famous and you should probably defer to me.

III. GREENBELT, MD - CHAINCATION

News of my cewebrity status came moments before my departure for the long awaited CHAINCATION 2007. It was a great way to start a vacation that has been in the works for about 5 weeks. Gretchen, Matt, Zaq and I loaded up Zoe's 1992 Toyota and headed in a southerly direction. We were bound for Greenbelt, Maryland -- home of ERIN K. YOKEL. There were mixes galore on the car ride down. Mine included several songs with the word 'chain' in the title. The theme of the Chaincation was, of course, chains. We went to California Pizza Kitchen, Chevy's, Target, Nordstrom, Forever 21, Express, The Apple Store, Banana Republic and others. We ate a lot of tasty but bad-for-you food like chicken fingers and quesadillas. Here are some other highlights in list form with accompanying pictures.

A. Tour of the Discovery Channel Building Lobby


B. Drive-thru Liquor Store


C. Hot Tubbing (featuring Matt Burnett in a Speedo -- the water was NOT the hottest thing in that tub MEEEOW!)



D. Dippin' Dots Stand at the Mall

I daresay ice cream can be MUCH more fun that Dippin' Dots.

E. Awesome Candy Packaging at Target

Doesn't it look like the goofy-faced monsters are hemorrhaging candy? From their mouths?! I liked to imagine the accompanying sound effect to this packaging as a kiddie puke noise.

F. Farmers Market With Wacky Mushrooms


G. Eggs ASAP


Even though only 1/2 of The Chain was able to attend, I had a great time. It made me so stoked to plan the next Chaincation, hopefully with a 100% attendance rate. Thanks Erin, Kathy and Uri for being such great hosts.