Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Hangover Prevention & More Encounters With Terrible People

Last night I had too many drinks and I got home and was like shiiiiiiiiiz I have work in like 8 hours. Has the same thing ever happened to you? I bet it has! Here is my fool-proof Hangover Prevention Method (HPM). First you can do your normal nightly routine if you are able. If you aren't able, skip it! Then take two Excedrin Migraine and two 4 hour Sudafed with a full glass of water. You should sleep sitting upright as much as possible (this is mostly only if it's allergy season or if you have a cold, but sometimes it's good to do regardless). You will wake up in the middle of the night, say like 2am, and have a really bad headache. You take one or two more Excedrin Migraine. Then go back to sleep. You will wake up again at about 5:30am and you'll say, 'please no headache' and luckily you won't have one. Then you can just slumber until 7:30 and you will be mostly ok!

When you head to work after this, you'll be functioning at about 85%. A smooth ride with no dramatically terrible people will help you relax and get back to "neutral." Unfortunately this morning Lady Luck was mad at me. This guy was leaning on the doors next to me and listening to his headphones loudly. Every time we were between stations, he would turn to face the door, look at his reflection and start playing air upright bass! EVERY SINGLE TIME. Like, dude get a fucking life and stop grazing my arm with yours b/c you want to admire yourself and practice strumming an air instrument. You are lame at life.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Listen Up, Ladies

If you see a Curves bar, you should eat it.

Definitely don't buy one, but if you have one lying around at work or on the street it is not a bad idea to, well, eat it! They contain almost no nutritional value, but also only 100 cals. No guilt! Chow down sistahs!