Saturday, December 13, 2008

Weirdly, not as good as they look.

I know. I was surprised too.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


After spending the better part of the 90s trying to master this needlessly complex trompe l'ouille, I finally "saw the hidden picture" with the help of my awesome Mom. THANK GOD I AM FINALLY FREE.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


I still can't believe it. I can't believe that a vast majority of people in this country voted for a man named Barack Hussein Obama. This country that we've been ashamed of for so many years just became something to be proud of again and I am overcome. This start at chipping away THE cancer that has plagued our country since its inception is incredible. All kids in this country will grow up with a black man as president. The minority voice is THE voice in America finally and it's so inspiring. I rarely feel this uncynical and wholeheartedly awed and impressed, but what we all did yesterday takes my breath away.

Here's Fidelis (far left) trying to catch a glimpse of Barack at their polling place.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Windy City Weekend

I am a great planner. I organized an incredible weekend for me and Erin in Chicago. We tasted new and delicious foods. We saw exciting things. We bought makeup.

Erin arrived Thursday afternoon. We rushed home to have cocktails and snacks. Since nothing was on TV and Erin had never seen My So-Called Life (unacceptable), we popped in the first disk.

For dinner, we went to Spring, Chicago's fancy locavore spot, with Joe and Alie. I expected a lot and got very little. The service was incredibly bad (very attitudy) and the food was only ok. So you don't need to go there! You're welcome for saving you $$$$.

The next day, we headed down to Roosavelt Rd. for Manny's lunch with Mom.

We really over did it, but that's kind of what Manny's is for. Mom was upset they didn't serve warm gefilte fish anymore, but she got over it. Erin and I took a walk around downtown after lunch. Erin bought tons of makeup. Pretty!!!! Then we got pedicures. I got the razor THANK GOD b/c my feet were totally dying to be scccccraped. Then we went shopping, bought a malted milkshake, and walked home. My So-Called Life Cocktail Hour commenced. We plowed through a few more eps before picking up Jason and heading to Penny's Noodle Shop for dinner. I love Penny's. It's so good and reliable and cheap. Then we went to Goldstar to drink brews and watch Halloweeen. Scary! Erin and I got in a minor tiff about whether or not people our age listen to bands like Journey ironically or because they genuinely like that music (I said ironically and, of course, I'm right). We freaked Jason out a little, but he has to grow up sometime. Luckily the tension was diffused when we decided to get a snack at McDonalds. We ordered a few things, drove up to the window and gave the woman money. Next thing I knew, she handed me BACK the money I'd just given her along with our food. She got so flustered from all the drunks that she thought she was giving us change or something. FREE MCDONALDS YES WE FINALLY BEAT THE SYSTEM TAKE THAT THE MAN.

High from our Mickey D's coup the night before, we headed to Rick Bayless' restaurant Frontera the next morning. We drank alcohol brunch drinks and got really full on chorizo and eggs. It was so delicious. After that we got various things waxed and went to see Happy Go-Lucky which was worse than expected. Erin thought it was ok. I fell asleep. We rushed home to change for the night. We stopped by the Empty Bottle to pick up Lykke Li tickets. Thanks Peter and Robin for helping us get into the sold out show!!! We got stamped and then headed to the Skylark for dinner.

I LOVE THE SKYLARK. It's my favorite bar in Chicago because it's never that crowded, the beers are cheap, there is great food and it's in a funky location. We shared a burger with onion rings on it (God bless the Midwest), salad and tots with sauces (disappointing). We headed back to the Bottle just in time to see that Swedish songstress sing and gyrate her little Aryan heart out.

I was pretty impressed with her live set. I'm not a huge fan of her music in general, but she had a lot of energy onstage. There was a heavy drum sound in all the numbers which was unexpected. Lots of dancing and moving. It was nice to see how she modified songs that are pretty mellow on the recording. She also covered Tribe's "Can I Kick It" and one other one.

Sunday we went to an awesome new brunch place near my house. It's a fancy grocery store slash cafe. Erin and I shared the best turkey club I've ever tasted and bread pudding pancakes. SO AMAZING. We also had brunch alcohols. The nadir of the whole weekend came after brunch when we tried to go to an all ladies dance class and it wasn't in session. God. That was so depressing. We were all decked in our work-out wear and then NOTHING. Erin even brought her Danity Kane shirt. So annoying. We went shopping to make ourselves feel better. We bought dresses. Then we came home for more MSCLCH. We put on our new dresses (pretty) and went to dinner in Andersonville at a new Korean restaurant JinJu. It was super cute and sexy. Great date spot! Then we headed to the lesbian wine bar Joie De Vine. Jason met up with us and we all had a great time with Erotic Photo Hunt.

We watched more MSCL and went to bed.

Monday we went to lunch and then headed to Midway. Great trip Erin! THANKS FOR COMING I LOVE YOU!!!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

FOU et Tellement Evident

Parallel parking in Hyde Park is a fucking joke. It's SO IRRITATING. People do not know how to park here! There are a million 3/4 spots. It's INFURIATING. fgjiaowefjioewajcea;wo. Today I drove around for 30 minutes. It took me 20 minutes to get down here from my house (13 miles) and thirty fucking minutes to find parking. I may try Joe's tactic of gently touching bumpers with a car and then flooring it to put them properly in ONE space instead of two.

Last night I went to see Yelle with Stephanie. The crowd was like what I imagine the Harvey Milk High School prom to be like. Lots of teenage queers dancing uninhibitedly. The show was totally fun and we left early. Yelle's English skills were lacking, but it only made the power of music all the more transcendent (who needs words when you have beats?). Also there were some nice kind of drum circle style moments which were unexpected. Her band was INSANELY HOT. Like hot as fuck. Look at that. Also they were wearing "Dance or Die" shirts (tres mignon). Too bad they're French :(

Here's the song from which Yelle got the sample for Ce Jeu.

Yesterday I also made a blueberry galette. It turned out well. Little leaky. It looks very similar to this:

Monday, September 29, 2008

Back In The New York Groove

Ace Freely sang it and I DID it this weekend. I ventured back from whence I came only one fortnight ago. I flew Delta to Laguardia which was awesome. It was a small plane which freaked me out at first, but it was such a relaxing new plane with tons of leg room that I chilled right out. They came around with a tray of snacks and the flight wasn't even half full so I got to stretch out a lot. Just a super time! No lines, no waiting at the gorgeous Marine Terminal.

Sam and I caught up over sandwiches. Then we ran some errands and went to Big Bar for drinks with Lacey and Hannah. I was so excited to see more than one friend in one place after my lonely two weeks in Chicago that I got really really drunk. Sam and I went home to watch the debates. I was really proud that Obama got tough and said he'd kill Bin Laden and crush Al-Qaeda. Way to go. He should have been doing that all along. That's what people want to hear. I slept through the last 1/3. When I woke up I haz hangover. But Sam mad me go out anyway! I'm glad he did because not only did I have a fun time with Adrienne and Chapman in Williamsburg, I also found a NEW flavor of Collisions Doritos (more on this later).

Saturday was day #1 of my performance "Throwing Things That Break" (which I'm considering retitling "The Mess I Made" (please weigh in)). The first performance was under attended, but it was good to work out the kinks with minimal spectators. Between performances Sam and I shared a sandwich and went to a bookstore. The second performance of the day went well. Erin arrived just in time to capture the "happening" on video. Other attendees included Adrienne, Chapman, Gene, Barbara, Emily, Luke and Aunt Audrey. Thanks for coming everyone!!

Saturday night was Sam's bday dinner at Pacifico. Very delicious and fun. Then I met up with the Chain for a slightly disorganized but enjoyable evening out.

Sunday was day #2 of performancing. It also went well and thanks for braving the rain to come see it all! Brunch at Superfine was not actually superfine. It was more like mediocrepassable. Sam and I took a walk to Red Hook to look at bikes. On the way we saw Jonathan Franzen at a bookstore. He was working on his MacBook. So now we know he uses a Mac.
Almost immediately after seeing JF we saw a DUCK KILLING FACTORY. The door of this no-windows building was open and duck guts were strewn all over the floor and there was tons of squawking. Sam said he had to become vegetarian and I said 'grow a pair' and he said, 'you're right.'

Then I went to Greenpoint while Sam napped. Hannah and I got crazy with some Bud Lights, Gossip Girl and the new Collisions Doritos Ranch/Pizza Cravers. Honestly, I was underwhelmed. The pizza flavor had some mild Italian inspired spices, but other than that tasted pretty much like regular Nacho Cheese. The ranch was also too mild and tasted like a sub-par Cool Ranch. Taken together the sensation wasn't anything to write home about, but it was something to write blog about.

After that I headed into the city to get a drink with Adam who had just returned from a posh Hamptons wedding. Adrienne and Chapman were cooking dinner, so we headed over after taking exactly two sips of our drinks. They made a chicken/rice thing and broccoli with lemon butter sauce. Adrienne prepared an amazing chocolate mousse dessert with homemade raspberry whipped cream. It was delicious. We talked a lot about deaf culture, circumcision and graphic novels. On the subway ride home, we saw Ronnie from Bravo's 'Make Me A Supermodel.' Sam said he would missed connections him, but I don't know if he actually did.

On the runway at Laguardia AIR FORCE ONE rolled by my window.

It was kind of exciting. Big police escort. I got home yesterday afternoon and had some Jew food with Mom and Dad.

Unrelatedly, this is my favorite song and video.

Finally, here is the most recent installment of Thursd-eggs c/o Snugget and Vanessa.


You know what I love? Cleaning out the refrigerator. I love eating that one last caper floating in the bottom of the glass jar, squeezing out that last drop of yellow mustard, chopping up the final few leaves of parley. And so this week was Leftov-eggs. I wasn't born during the Great Depression but hell if ain't ready for the Greatest Depression!

4 eggs
1 tablespoon cooking oil
1/4 onion
1/2 spicy chorizo (sometimes called Spanish chorizo)
handful of whatever cooked green vegetable you have lying around your fridge. We used charred kale and it was delish
salt and pepper

Heat tablespoon of cooking oil in a heavy-bottomed pan until fragrant but not smoking. While it's heating up, finely chop the onion and whisk the eggs with salt and pepper. Add onions to pan. It's ok if they brown. After 4 or 5 minutes they should be cooked through. Chop the chorizo into half inch pieces. Add them to the pan of onions. The chorizo is already cooked so the goal here is to just brown the bits and make them crispy. Once browned add the already cooked green to the pan to warm it all up. Remove from heat. If using the same pan for your eggs take out the onion mixture and allow the pan to cool for 2 minutes. Wipe out pan. Heat on medium with some butter or oil in the pan if you are not using cast iron or a non-stick pan.

Add eggs stirring constantly. They will start to firm up. Once they are cooked to your prefered consistency pile the onion mixture on top and serve.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Changes & Guest Bloggers Snugget and Vanessa

Since my last post, I've moved to Chicago for my fall semester abroad. I had a great going away party and an even better HELLO party upon arrival. Here are some pics.

I'll talk more about my big life changes later, but in the meantime, Snugget and Vanessa have graciously invited us join them in their latest culinary adventure: Thurs-deggs. Here Snugget describes how this genius idea unfolded:

This week an egg-shaped light bulb went off in my head. “We need a weekly breakfast to be excited about,” I thought. As it was Tuesday, and a day’s notice didn’t seem fair, I suggested Thurs-deggs. I like routines and plays on words, so this was eggs-actly what the doctor ordered. Plus Vanessa likes to cook and I like to eat. Egg-gain…perfect. So this Thursday we premiered Thurs-deggs, which will hopefully be a weekly egg-ccurrence featuring new and egg-citing or old and classic and all down right delicious breakfast egg-stravaganzas!

Sept 18: Breakfast Tacos


With little warning for the inaugural Thurs-deggs we had to make do with what we had in the old refrigerator. There was a jar of salsa, half an avocado and some small corn tortillas. Bingo, bango, breakfast tacos!

Vanessa hails from sunny Los Angeles, California, a city rich in Mexican heritage, so I had no doubt these would be very authentic.

Here is how she made them:

Thurs-deggs Breakfast Tacos (because burritos are too large when you're eating at 6:50 am)
Serves: 2


4 corn tortillas
half an avocado, sliced
4 eggs (room temperature if possible)
Tablespoon of butter
4 tablespoons salsa
Sriracha (optional)
salt and pepper

Crack eggs in a large bowl and whisk for a minute or two until the yolks and whites are fully integrated. Place a small saucepan on medium heat and add butter. Let it slosh around. Once the butter starts to bubble but before it browns, add the eggs. Stir constantly, scraping down the sides and folding the eggs over with a wooden spoon. Before the eggs are completely cooked turn of heat. Continue to stir eggs. Now, turn on another burner on high. Place the tortillas on one at a time, flipping them over so they heat and brown evenly on both sides. Place two tortillas on each plate, evenly divide the eggs. Pile the avocado and salsa on top. Add Sriracha if you enjoy the spicy.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

No Camera Can Capture It All: Alison, Jeremy and I Go To Israel

These fateful words, uttered by the Israel Outdoors staff photographer while trying to squeeze everyone into the frame of our group picture, proved prophetic. Nothing could sum up the vast array of emotions we felt over this 10 day trip. Though this picture comes pretty close:

This first thing we learned was not to trust our guide. She lied to us. Repeatedly. Our schedule for the first day was an "easy" 20 minute hike and kayaking in the Jordan River which probably wouldn't contain much water (if any). What ensued was a 2 hour death march and rafting (in one of those inflatable things - see below) in a fully full river. I thought I was going to die. The hike through the Galilee mountains was beautiful. Unfortunately I was so busy looking at my feet, struggling to get over enormous rocks and maneuvering through narrow passages that the physical beauty of the landscape largely evaded me. By the end of the hike (which we actually cut short because people were struggling so much), I was on the verge of hyperventilating, sweaty beyond belief and very annoyed that we'd been deceived. Since we were told the "kayaking" wouldn't involve us getting wet (since the river would be almost entirely depleted of water), I decided to go in fully clothed. Total mistake. I got completely drenched. On our ride down the river, we ran into a group of rowdy Hasidic school boys who disobeyed every single rule the rafting guy told us. They were swimming in the river, splashing around everywhere. Fantastic. Luckily, our rafting buddies were Luke and Emily, two people with even worse attitudes than mine and Alison's. We talked smack on everyone else in the group and really bonded. Love you guys!!

The rest of the trip was spent trying to gauge how much of what we were told was a lie and trying to adjust our attire accordingly.


1. All the kinds of Doritos. They weren't as good as American Doritos (of course), but it was fun to try them. They were much thinner and had less powder flavoring on them. This one tasted like curry!

2. The desert waterfall. Very pretty!!

3. All the hiking. Despite the fact that it was exactly 1000 degrees Celsius every single day we were there and I've never sweat so much and so consistently over such a long period of time, the hiking was really fun. I never get to do stuff like that at home. It felt great to actually finish the really hard hikes and see the viewpoints [sic] at the top. Hiking Masada was particularly feelgoody. Here we are, red-faced and sweaty beyond belief.

4. When I took this picture:

5. Becoming friends with Luke and Emily. AAWWWWW!!

6. Learning about bomb disposal robots! The police evacuate areas when they discover an unattended bag or package in a public place. Then they send in a robot that destroys the bomb! So cool! We heard the whole thing go down when we were at the Western Wall. They said stuff over the PA system, telling everyone that there was a suspicious package. Then there was another announcement that there would be a robot bomb noise in a few minutes. The soldiers translated this for us, but our leader didn't think it was important enough to tell us what was about to happen and kept lecturing about the Second Temple. Cool, good call Michal. No one will notice or be scared of the loud bomb noise. Anyway, it was a pretty substantial sound. Totally cool. Here's an example of a BDR:

After a while it became clear that the bus driver Yossi was stealing our water bottles so that we'd buy his instead. Every time we left water on our seats for an activity, we'd return to the bus unable to find them. Very clever Yossi. Great entrepreneurial mind.

Some things I learned:

1. Israelis love Israel. A lot. This was kind of surprising. Since the land of Israel is so significant primarily because of its religious importance, I assumed that secular Israelis (most Israelis) wouldn't feel that tied to it. Wrong! Totally wrong. They are so patriotic. It's kind of weird, but I guess it makes sense. It's strange because Israel is comprised of mostly displaced people (people who weren't born IN Israel). Lots came over after the Holocaust and in the early 20th century. So in that way, it's a lot like America, where patriotism is prevalent but maybe less based on the idea that the specific land is what's important.

2. Israelis are assholes. Not really, but like kind of. They have an incredibly brisk attitude and arrogance that is really offputting. I knew this going in, but it was pretty surprising to interact with a whole nation of jerks all at once. Our guide Michal, who ended up being great and very knowledgeable and accommodating, was so quintessentially Israeli. Whenever we were on a hike and she found herself not in the absolute front, she'd plow through the group screaming, 'Sorry, I just want to be first!' This really sums up the Israeli Weltanschauung. Sorry! They just want to be first! They're gonna take it all no matter who stands in their way. SORRY!! Sorry I just want to be first should be the state motto of Israel.

3. Israel looks like southern California. One of these is Israel and one is Griffith Park. Can you tell which one is which?!?!

4. There is a lot of America in Israel. I knew we put tons of money into the military there (one of our guard's bullet holders had U.S. on it), but I had no idea about the proliferation of American TV, products and language in Israel. So much of the signage is just English transliteration. It's not that they don't have words for things in Hebrew. They just choose not to use them. This was really weird and much more widespread than European adoption of American words.

5. Israeli soldiers are pussies. Who knew?!!? I think they get so used to having their guns with them they stop actually being tough. Two of the girls didn't make it all the way up Masada because of a headache and a fear of heights. Ohad had to have his mommy pick him up from the bus because he was feeling sick. Man, so lame. It made me feel super strong and powerful. I'm tougher than soldiers!!

6. There is a lot of garbage in Israel. Mostly in the country. The cities are pretty clean.

7. The Western Wall has a women only section that is 1/4 the size of them men's section. This was really shocking, but I guess it was naive not to expect it. Women are relegated to the periphery in all other aspects of Jewish culture, so why not here at the most holy site.

By the end of the trip everyone had gotten terrible ill and was afflicted with various intestinal and respiratory ailments. I'm still 100% sick.

Overall the trip was a nice diversion from normal life and it was great to spend time with Alie and Jeremy. Thanks to the American Jewz for sending me on the trip of a lifetime for free!!!!!! You really did yourselves a disservice because now I hate religion more than ever.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Swedish Fish Weekend

This weekend I went to DC to visit Erin. I sat next to a really smelly man the whole ride. When we got there, the first thing we did was head to Virginia to get fish pedicures.

We were nervous and excited. The sanitation at the salon was questionable. They forced us to wear these skanky rubber flip flops that were definitely not cleaned after every use. The salon was also really weird. They had free buffalo wings. Like tons and tons of buffalo wings. Also free strawberries in a clear vase (not a nice way to display strawberries in summer (condensation=unappetizing)). We were brought back to the tanks and in we went! I could not stop laughing at first. One because it was extremely tickley and two because helloo there were tons of fish eating my feet! A lot of the other people were being hysterical at first too. The fish nibbled at my toes for a really long time. They just didn't stop! Finally I got out of the tank and the pedicure was finished regular style. All in all, I was not very impressed. The fish didn't make my feet incredible smooth and the sensation they provided was not pleasurable. I will not be getting another fish pedicure, but I'm not that upset I did it once.

Here is Erin's recap of the fish pedi:

To preface. I hate Virginia. I hate most people from Virginia, I hate the buildings there, I hate the way they arrange their highways and streets, I hate the way Virginian's drive, I hate the tobacco and Republicans and slavery and plantations. However, as it turns out. I do not hate the fish they have there that eat dead skin off of peoples feet.

The place was very nondescript, in a strip mall, beside a Domino's (which is relevant, just wait). This lady/boy washed our feet which felt a little biblical and weird. Naomi didn't want to put on the flip flops they provided cos she thought she'd get diseased. But like. HER feet were covered in poison ivy which I'm sure would have canceled it out.

Finally they put us on these benches side by side with our feet in these tanks of little inch long fishes. It was hard for me to put my feet in the first time, cos I do NOT like aquatic life. As soon as my feet hit the water the fish ATTACKED. It was a really weird sensation. Like tiny little sucking mouths all over your feet (not sexually, gross, they're fish).

Our first reaction was hysterical laughter. I attribute the laughter to three different things: 1. it tickles, 2. the situation is patently ridiculous, and 3. it makes you kind of nervous to have fish gnaw at your feet. Serious laughter too. Like to the point of tears. Then things settled down.

There was a really nice man (he was featured on the GMA segment I think, NAOMI: do a link) who was really proud of his little fishes and all they were doing for our feet. He told us that everyone who does the fish for the first time has a few minutes of hysterical laughter, which made me feel better about causing a scene. THEN this other lady came to get her feet eaten. She had driven down all the way from New York just for the fish treatment! She was really nuts. She cracked up and kept cracking up for a long time. And also grabbed the lady next to her (who she did not know).

Anyway. It was kind of weird but not painful or anything. Then they take you out of the tank and do your nails the regular way. They also served us buffalo wings from dominoes! Like a lot of them! Which has never happened to me before in my many years of nail maintenance.

We inspected our feet afterwards, and we both agreed that the fish were not really effective. I think they would have been if we had been in there for an hour as opposed to 15 minutes. OR if they had really gone to town on our calluses before hand. But it was fun. I wouldn't go again unless I had another out of town guest, cos I bet they would think it was fun and funny and worth the 40 bucks it cost us.

So in conclusion. The only thing coming out of Virginia that I don't HATE is fish pedicures. And the Neptunes.

After that we got some drinks and snacks with Erin's friends and saw her brother's band play. I got pretty sleepy, but I had fun.

Saturday we hung out at Faith's pool. Real relaxing. Then we got home in time for CRABFEAST. Very delicious.

Sunday we saw Mamma Mia! It was a really fun, totally bizarre movie. It also reminded me that Super Trouper is a gorgeous song.

Camera Obscura's cover of it is pretty special too. Listen here!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

New Annoyance

Men who clamor for seats on the subway. Nothing disgusts me more than a grown-up man who, on a crowded train, elbows and fights to get a seat. It makes me think he is the most effete, pathetic, little pussy bitch on the planet. Get a pair of balls please. All of you!