Swedish Fish Weekend

This weekend I went to DC to visit Erin. I sat next to a really smelly man the whole ride. When we got there, the first thing we did was head to Virginia to get fish pedicures.

We were nervous and excited. The sanitation at the salon was questionable. They forced us to wear these skanky rubber flip flops that were definitely not cleaned after every use. The salon was also really weird. They had free buffalo wings. Like tons and tons of buffalo wings. Also free strawberries in a clear vase (not a nice way to display strawberries in summer (condensation=unappetizing)). We were brought back to the tanks and in we went! I could not stop laughing at first. One because it was extremely tickley and two because helloo there were tons of fish eating my feet! A lot of the other people were being hysterical at first too. The fish nibbled at my toes for a really long time. They just didn't stop! Finally I got out of the tank and the pedicure was finished regular style. All in all, I was not very impressed. The fish didn't make my feet incredible smooth and the sensation they provided was not pleasurable. I will not be getting another fish pedicure, but I'm not that upset I did it once.

Here is Erin's recap of the fish pedi:

To preface. I hate Virginia. I hate most people from Virginia, I hate the buildings there, I hate the way they arrange their highways and streets, I hate the way Virginian's drive, I hate the tobacco and Republicans and slavery and plantations. However, as it turns out. I do not hate the fish they have there that eat dead skin off of peoples feet.

The place was very nondescript, in a strip mall, beside a Domino's (which is relevant, just wait). This lady/boy washed our feet which felt a little biblical and weird. Naomi didn't want to put on the flip flops they provided cos she thought she'd get diseased. But like. HER feet were covered in poison ivy which I'm sure would have canceled it out.

Finally they put us on these benches side by side with our feet in these tanks of little inch long fishes. It was hard for me to put my feet in the first time, cos I do NOT like aquatic life. As soon as my feet hit the water the fish ATTACKED. It was a really weird sensation. Like tiny little sucking mouths all over your feet (not sexually, gross, they're fish).

Our first reaction was hysterical laughter. I attribute the laughter to three different things: 1. it tickles, 2. the situation is patently ridiculous, and 3. it makes you kind of nervous to have fish gnaw at your feet. Serious laughter too. Like to the point of tears. Then things settled down.

There was a really nice man (he was featured on the GMA segment I think, NAOMI: do a link) who was really proud of his little fishes and all they were doing for our feet. He told us that everyone who does the fish for the first time has a few minutes of hysterical laughter, which made me feel better about causing a scene. THEN this other lady came to get her feet eaten. She had driven down all the way from New York just for the fish treatment! She was really nuts. She cracked up and kept cracking up for a long time. And also grabbed the lady next to her (who she did not know).

Anyway. It was kind of weird but not painful or anything. Then they take you out of the tank and do your nails the regular way. They also served us buffalo wings from dominoes! Like a lot of them! Which has never happened to me before in my many years of nail maintenance.

We inspected our feet afterwards, and we both agreed that the fish were not really effective. I think they would have been if we had been in there for an hour as opposed to 15 minutes. OR if they had really gone to town on our calluses before hand. But it was fun. I wouldn't go again unless I had another out of town guest, cos I bet they would think it was fun and funny and worth the 40 bucks it cost us.

So in conclusion. The only thing coming out of Virginia that I don't HATE is fish pedicures. And the Neptunes.


After that we got some drinks and snacks with Erin's friends and saw her brother's band play. I got pretty sleepy, but I had fun.

Saturday we hung out at Faith's pool. Real relaxing. Then we got home in time for CRABFEAST. Very delicious.


Sunday we saw Mamma Mia! It was a really fun, totally bizarre movie. It also reminded me that Super Trouper is a gorgeous song.

Camera Obscura's cover of it is pretty special too. Listen here!

District of Funlumbia

I went to DC this weekend to visit Erin. Sam was going to visit his sister Lucy so we rode Greyhound together. The trip got underway at Port Authority where they were BLASTING classical music on the PA system. It didn't do much to distract from the fact that Port Authority is the most disgusting, depressing place in all of New York, maybe the entire world. After commenting on my weight and letting out a booming cackle, the driver checking out tickets let us board the bus. While on board, a few things happened.

1. Sam and I decided we should start a band called White Rose and then star in a reality tv show (presumably on vh1) in which we have to live with Prussian Blue in a mansion in LA.
2. We realized/reconfirmed that LCD Soundsystem and The Zombies are the GOOOOOODS.
3. We drew drawings!!! First portraits of each other, then tableaux from adventures we've had together (aaawwwwPUKE)

(click to enlarge)
4. We ate sandwiches.

5. I mistakenly read the title of another passenger's magazine. It was Prevention and I saw


We finally arrived in DC and saw the Illinois flag, so we really felt at home.


I got to Erin's house and we chilled a bit. She bought special provisions for my visit. We snacked on cheese and crackers, champagne+pineapple juice and mini cupcakes.

Then we went out to a romantic dinner. Here's Erin doing a robotic dance (different from THE Robot) so excited for the din.


On the way to the restaurant, I remembered what I like most about DC: The Metro. The stations are so haunting and cinematic. The lights at the edge of the platform flash to let you know to stand back because the train is coming. The trains themselves are clean and always on time. There was some funky mold here, so I guess they're not 100% perfect, but isn't it the flaws that makes things interesting or whatever?


Dinner was awesome. I ate about a few pounds of beef and Erin had a whole plate of fried things. We also shared crispy crab things and she got a very green cocktail.


After dinner, we went to this bar called the Front Page. After seeing the best thing in DC, I was upset to be confronted with the worst: the surplus of square white folk. These people went APE SHIT for O.A.R. and Stroke 9. Like, is it 1997??!!? Also the DJ played a medley from Grease. That is just totally inappropriate. I fucking hate Grease, but even if I didn't, I would not want to hear it at a bar. WRONG VENUE.

(singing 'Since U Been Gone')

(singing 'Livin' On A Prayer')

The next day we ate the most succulent mini burgers ever. They were served on brioche! Since it was freezing and windy, we decided to see Stomp The Yard.

It's the #1 movie in the country and not for nothing. It's so dope! The dancing is fucking amazing and the story/writing is actually not that bad. I wish Chris Brown hadn't been [SPOILER!!!] killed in the first 5 minutes, but there were some nice flashbacks of him lecturing his older brother (played by Columbus Short).

In the bathroom of the theater, I encountered XLERATOR. This super-powered hand dryer prompted you to FEEL THE POWER. I did. I was impressed, if frightened.


Erin's Reverse Housewarming Party was that night. I invited my long lost roommate from abroad Debo.

There was also beer pong and lots of people I didn't know.

The next morning, Erin and I took it easy lounging in bed for several hours watching an alarming number of episodes of Sex and the City (no judgement, please). We ate brunch and then I headed back to NY.

The bus ride back started off pretty unpleasantly, but got 100% better about an hour in with the announcement that the heat at the back of the bus would be turned on and the video equipment was broken.

In summation, I would never ever go to our Nation's Capital were it not for Erin. I don't know how I feel about that, but I'm certainly glad I made the trek this weekend.