Middle West = Best

This weekend I had an awesome adventure time in Chicago. My vaca happened to coincide with the most hectic close in Allure history, for which I gave myself a hefty pat on the back. After my 6:10 am flight was straight up canceled, I wandered LaGuardia hoping to fly standby sometime before my 1:00 pm automatically rebooked flight departed. LaGuardia is truly the most depressing airport in America with the least appealing food options ever. I ended up eating Auntie Anne's Cinnamon Sugar Pretzel Sticks at about 6:30 am out of sheer boredom. It was fucking disgusting. Even more disturbing though was the fact that Auntie Anne's had the hot dog pretzels ready to go at that hour. Piles upon piles of pretzel wrapped hot dogs were sitting in the warming case. Who is going to eat a fucking pretzel dog at 6 in the morning? I know most people are very very beastly, but that's pushing it.

I got on an 8:30 flight and was home by 11. Dad has a new tai chi regiment. His drawn instructions have been replaced with photographed choreography. I guess that means he's moving up?


Zoe and I had lunch with mom and saw her new office (nice digs). Then we went shopping and just hung out like sisters do y'know? We went to this vegan restaurant for Zoe's bday dinner. It was fun and everyone got along.
Cute girls!

Dad and I were the only ones drinking of course.

Then we showed our teeth.

Then Mom and Zoe did tons of drugs in the bathroom. Omg jk!!!

They did them at the table.

Friday I got a much needed pedicure and less needed manicure. They scraped off so much dry skin from my heels. It was fucking insane. My pedicure took twice as long as Zoe's for this reason. After my lady was done, she was like, 'Wanna look?' There was a mound of dead skin on the newspaper. Really disgusting. But now my feet are soft as can be!! Haley arrived that evening. We rushed home for cocktail hour for which Zoe prepared some delicious apps.

We also had prosecco and some vegan spreads and shit. It was yums. Mom got drunk!

Dad got a hairs cut!

Nice bald spot, Zoe!


After apps, Haley and I went to Sweets and Savories primarily to sample their duck fat frites. We also ordered a Kobe Beef burger to share which they split into two mini burgs (too cute!). I got mine with fois gras because I'm not a huge d-bag loser who is scared of eating livers.

Everyone should go to Sweets and Savories. They are super attentive, but not overly so. They also provide complementary lavender truffles at the end of the meal. They are struggling for business. Just go there now. Bring friends.

We went to The Hideout after dinner. The outdoor area smelled like nacho cheese, but whatever. Here's Haley sippin' and lookin'.

Then we met up with Jeremy who was wearing a really gay hat. We went to The Happy Village which was incredibly packed. Adrienne, Chapman, Daniel, Ben, Alison and Noah were also there. Fun time!

Alie wearing Jeremy's faghat.

Then we went to some other bars and met up with other people etc etc.

Saturday Zoe, Haley, and I went to the salon for more beauty things. After that we went to Arturo's for Mexican food. Haley ordered what she thought was a pork burrito, but ended up being a burrito full of just pork skin. It was the nastiest thing I've ever seen. It looked like overgrown larvae rolling in rice. Eew eew eew.

Then we went to Village.


We got to Pitchfork at around 4, in time to see Battles who used to have a really dope website, but apparently abandoned it for a soulless Myspace template. Regardless, we didn't watch Battles b/c we were too busy sneaking Haley into VIP and then gorging on free Chipotle, ice cream and beer. VIP was just great. Great great great. There were tons of benches, short(er) lines, and more attractive people. Overall, I thought the festival was alright. A lot of the bands were ill-suited to the venue. Professor Murder, Clipse, Girl Talk, and even Cat Power (barf) were all totally lost in the large setting. Really I just don't like concerts that much. It makes me feel icky when I see the crowd of people attracted by music I like. I don't like what it implies about me. I like the free stuff and having an excuse to sit outside and drink lots of beer. For that, Pitchfork was perfect. It was also such a treat to see my friends from Sound Opinions. Even Barry (who I haven't seen in years) was there!

Nice Robin.


The was the best thing that happened all weekend. Aw!!


Sunday (Zoe's 21st birthday!!!!!) saw more thrifting at a different Village.
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Haley scored me some nice boots and a sweet denim sleeveless shirt. Thanks Girlmachine! After that was beachtyme, for which Jeremy met us. I learned that the sand at Lake Michigan is NOT naturally occurring. I was shocked. Here's Haley, boobs blazing, practicing for her upcoming stint at Abu Ghraib.

Too soon?

After the beach, Haley had to hop the El and go back east. Jeremy and I proceeded to the second day of the festival which was much the same as the first. I thought New Pornographers and Of Montreal did a nice job. Prince Paul was a fun surprise at De La Soul.
To summarize:
1. I don't like concerts.
2. I do like free things (especially if 'things' means 'ice cream and beer')
3. I do like music.
4. I do like sitting outside sometimes.
5. I don't like crowds of douche bags.
6. I do like Chicago a LOT.
7. As long as S/O keeps providing me with free VIP passes to this festival, I will keep attending.


My trip home went off pretty seamlessly, save for a few terrifying encounters with an impressively facial haired and body odored woman.

Glad to be back :) Missing the middle though :(