You [Conde] Nasty Twin / I Ain't Care

It's true. Big Pun (RIP) said it in 1998 and now, nine years later, the prophesy of these lyrics is finally revealed. I am the new Assistant Photo Editor at Allure Magazine. Big Pun's pet name for me is Twin because I'm a Gemini. That's how I knew the song was about me. The 'nasty' part has been shrouded in mystery for nigh on a decade until this past Friday when the HR woman called me and was like, "You a Conde Nasty, Naomi! Congratulations! Now, what is your social security number?" And I was all, "I ain't care. It's ***-**-****." Anyway, I'm excited. The Conde Nast building is one of the first Green buildings in New York or the world or something. So that's cool. Also the cafeteria is all famous and junk. I'll probably see Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway, like, all the time. I will miss some things about PMc. My boss Anita is pretty wonderful and I will miss going to Balducci's with her every day. I will not miss working in a basement, being sexually harassed on a daily basis and interacting with douchey photographers. In summation, The Sarah Silverman Program: not as funny as it should be. Thoughts?