LAdventure

A lot of exciting things happened on my most recent venture to the West. Though honestly, all of them were eclipsed by one: the moment I heard the thumping synthesized drum beat of Miley Cyrus' gesamtkunstwerk See You Again. Everything else is a faint memory. The explosion of over-produced candy pop emanating from Juliette's Prius stereo is not something I will soon forget. DOWNLOAD HERE!!!

I will try to recount some other interesting tid bits so my readers don't get bored (luv u guys ur special!!). I flew Virgin American which was pretty neat. It's just like a funky disco inside, but like a planedisco. They have neon lights shining and trip hop playing when you walk in. You can order drinks on this little screen and don't have to talk to anyone!

Mike picked me up from the airport and we went to Griddle Cafe.

We got a thing with Chicago in the name just cuz! Then I had a super secret special meeting which I can't talk about on such a public forum. Just email me separately if you want to talk about it. Then Adam - god bless his unemployed self - agreed to entertain me for the remainder of the afternoon while my other friends took care of adult responsibilities. He played a game where he pretended to be mean and bored at first, but I know he was having fun. We walked around a bit, then went to Westwood and ate Red Mango.

Then we met up with Jeremy at the Hammer Museum to see the Kara Walker exhibit. It was pretty good! I hadn't seen much of her stuff aside from the cutouts, so it was nice to put those within a larger context.

After that the boys ate sushi. I drank beer and stole a piece here and there. Thanks guys! Then Jeremy bet Adam $2 that he wouldn't drink the remainder of our tempura sauce. AND HE DID CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!?

This photo kinda sucks cause it looks like Coke in there, but I swear that's sauce.

After that I met up with Ariel who I hadn't seen in quite a long time. She was mad hungover and I was jet lagged, but we still had a great time catching up. We shared a vegan cupcake which was not so bad. Mike met us at AKbar which was mellow and dark red (almost burgundy) inside. Only as we were exiting did we see the insane dance party going on in the other room of the bar. We were probably too tired to partake anyway.

Friday I went to work with Mike and hung out there for a few hours. His work is very relaxing and equipped with tons of free snack foods. I'd get totally way fatter than I am if I worked there. It's all free and it's cookies and junk!! Ken picked me up and we embarked on a long day of cooking and eating. Due to some combination of overplanning and underthinking, we wound up with two very heavy meals nearly back to back. We made big burgers for lunch. I drank Pimps (loves it) and Ken made an extremely refreshing drink with Mezcal and spices. Then we went to the Museum of Jurassic Technology which is as great as everyone says. I like the fake science factoids and the room of Napoleon books. For want of anything else to do, we went to Target which is always fun, if depressing. Ken got a gardening knee pad for his mom.

For the second meal, against our better judgment, we made lamb chops. With a random assortment of baking products, we were only able to make one dessert item in all of Joy Of Cooking: pecan blondies. There were a few problems, but overall it was a successful meal that left me never wanting to eat again. I was really proud of the pecan blondies. They looked perfect and tasted very good.

After dinner I borrowed Ken's car and drove to Charlie O's, taking Olympic all the way (a fact that amused my friends greatly). Whatever it didn't take that long. When I walked in Jeffrey was there!! What a treat! He told me earlier, "Maaaaaybe I'll come if my abusive boyfriend Zach can give me a ride." And then there he was!

Rachel and Rob's awesome band He's My Brother She's My Sister were playing. Great job guys!!! Mike and I have a band called I'm His Sister I'm Her Brother because we were so inspired by you.

Saturday Mike and I went to Square One. We shared a baked egg dish with chorizo and a tortilla and some other stuff. We also had a fruit salad which was exquisite because produce in California is just amazing. After that we drove around a bit and then I remembered OH SHIT TREVOR LIVES HERE NOW!!!! I called him asap and went over to his apartment to chill. He ate some meatballs in front of me.


After that I FINALLY got to see my one true toe-headed love, Juliette Clair. She'd been working on a movie with a delinquent celeb's little sister. Guess which one!!! No, not Jamie Lynn. Guess again!! Oh I don't even want to tell you because it's more fun to have secrets! We went to Urban Outfitters because that's just what we do together. Juliette got a really sexual denim dress that will be pictured later in this post. DON'T SKIP AHEAD!!!

We met up with Mike at Mozza to gorge on Vanessa's mom's most awesome creations. Thanks for the reservation hook up V! I will give you some free magazines if you want! Jeremy was 15 minutes late which was very rude. We ordered the following:

Appetizers
Plate of Speck
Meatballs al forno
Mussels al forno with Calabrian sauce
Pizzas
Egg, guanciale, radicchio, escarole & bagna cauda
Bianca with fontina, mozzarella, sottocenere & sage
Clams, garlic, oregano, parmigiano & pecorino
And another one with something that sounds like sunchoke but isn't and came with a huge mountain of a fluffy white cheese. Guesses welcome.
Desserts
Butterscotch budino
Gelato: olive oil, mint chip, blood orange

SO GOOD!!!

After dinner we went to a wine/beer bar. It was totally empty and now my new favorite place to go for drinks in LA. Real relaxing. They also had an outdoor "courtyard" which was just a chain link fenced off area in an alley. Real relaxing. Juliette and I were tired, so after a quick stop at her friend's friend's birthday, we went home.

HUGE HUGE MISTAKE

After we left the birthday, her friend Rachel went to a part at Chateau Marmont with Sienna Miller and Justin Long and Jonah Hill and all those guys. And she's "in the bizz" so I could have actually had a conversation with one or more REAL LIFE CELEBS. Also Chateau Marmont!!! Anyway, never go home when you're tired because you might get to meet Sienna Miller and see how skinny she is in real life. My brother also ended up at tons of cool parties which would have been fun, but no I have to be a big pussy whose favorite activity is sleep. Gaaahhhhhhh.

Sunday I met up with Juliette and Rachel at Le Pain Quotidien in West Hollywood which is very nice and in a house that makes you feel fancy and famous. After that we met up with Mike and went to Griffith Park to play tennis. Mike's tennis buddy flaked, so we walked around and took some glamour shots in nature.

Griffith Park is cool, but it's not really a "park" y'know? It's just a mountain. I wanted to lie down and you really can't do that there. I guess it's good for hiking and starting fires.

After the park, we ate gelato in Los Feliz. Then Mike and I went back to his house to pack and just relax before dinner. Juliette mentioned a great Vietnamese restaurant she knew of called Lemongrass. We googled it and headed over there. It was in Glendale. Weird, but ok. Then we walked in and it was just like a normal not that nice Vietnamese restaurant. So I texted her and she said that she meant to say it was called Gingergrass. THANKS IDIOT. We'd already ordered so whatevs. It was fine.

Then I got on the airplane!!

NewHOTtunz!!!

Again I'm about 6 months late here, but MGMT are so good!
Please enjoy, Kids.

SCOPE NY

Tasting Rachael Ray is being featured as part of SCOPY NEW YORK this weekend at Lincoln Center. Here's the press release for the whole show.

SCOPE CELEBRATES BANNER YEAR WITH LAUNCH OF '08 AT NEW YORK'S CULTURAL ICON LINCOLN CENTER

NEW YORK - Building on Miami’s overwhelming success, SCOPE launches its 2008 season with its flagship fair, SCOPE New York 08. SNY08, an invitation only edition of SCOPE art fairs, proudly returns to Manhattan’s most famous cultural icon, Lincoln Center, with a glass facade pavilion situated in Lincoln Center's Damrosch Park, at the corner of 62nd Street and 10th Avenue. SCOPE New York is just blocks from the Armory Show and serviced daily by shuttles and pedicabs.

Featuring galleries from four continents and 20 countries, including China, Mexico, Japan, Korea, Brazil, Italy, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Norway, Switzerland, Germany, UK, Spain, and Canada, SCOPE New York 2008’s 50 invitees will uphold its unique tradition of solo and thematic group shows presented alongside museum-quality programming, collector tours, screenings, and special events. The fair opens to press and VIP’s on Wednesday, March 26, 10am-5pm. General admission is $15.

Introducing artists, curators, and cutting-edge galleries to new audiences internationally has made SCOPE the most comprehensive destination for the emerging art world available anywhere. With art fairs in Miami, Basel, New York, London, and the Hamptons, SCOPE is proud to be an influential presence in the expanding global art market.

My work is part of exhibitor PAM. Check it out if you have time! It looks pretty cool.

Doesn't this make you feel a very specific, but kind of un-locatable feeling?

No Peas In The Potpie

This weekend I went to a bunch of neighborhoods and places! Friday night I went to Maya's opening in Jersey City. It's so cute there! Congrats Maya. Your piece was the best one for sure.

Saturday I went up to Sarah Lawrence to drive Zoe to JFK and steal her car for two weeks while she's off enjoying her youth in far away places (Chicago and Amsterdam). After some tears and theatrics, we got the airport just as Zoe's flight was taking off. She got on a later flight for only $50 (probably the only positive thing I can say about Delta Airlines). The old Pan Am terminal which is now occupied by Delta is kind of gorgeous. It feels like you're inside the heart of the building as you wind through the series of ramps to the drop off spot. It's a lot like driving through Grand Central coming off Park Avenue.


I made my way back to Park Slope, driving past The Federation of Black Cowboys which is always fun. At home I cleaned my apartment, washed my sheets, applied for things and watched Skins.

For dinner, Sam and I went to Hope and Anchor.

There was a funny exchange between the waiter and this snobby father whose disgruntled child was dressed in a full dinosaur costume. I don't think it will translate in writing, but feel free to call me and I'll tell you over the phone. There are voices involved.
Then we drove to Greenpoint and had a drink with Hannah and Brandon.

Then this happened.


Sunday, Adrienne Sam and I got brunch and headed to Emily's Easter party. Great Easter party Emily!!

There were lots of foods including: bunny shaped cookies, Hamburger Helper, tea sandwiches (egg salad and cucumber), bagels and cream cheese, roasted potato wedges, quiche and some other things I can't remember.

Headgear was provided


The Easter egg hunt was really fun and well organized. I got the loser's discarded chocolate crucifix. Total score for me.
Then we got MINDTRAPPED

Then I got itchy from the cat and had to go home.

The rest of my weekend was spent worry about things and watching Skins which is the best show ever made.


In other news, I hate St. Patrick's Day. It makes me sick. Does that mean I'm racist?

This is pretty important too. Japanese Bug Fight

a few things

1. Celeb sighting! I will be Jeanne Claude for Halloween and I need a Christo...


2. I had a dream that Heath Ledger died because he was so distraught that his wife (Natalie Portman) was a two-timing lesbian. He was confiding in me, crying, saying how upset he was by her duplicity.

3. I just started listening to Jens Lekman about a year too late. He's so good! Here's my favorite song so far.
Pocketful of Money

4. I saw Matt Pinfield at Katz's Deli on Wednesday night. He had brought in his own 1 liter bottle of ginger ale. He kept looking around to make sure no one noticed. Then he hoovered a sandwich and gave the remains of his ginger ale to Zach and Peter.


5. I just learned that he plural of court-martial is courts-martial.

5 Day Weekend

THUR/14/FEB

I had my 2nd Annual Valentine's Day Waffle Party. I bought a bottle of $11.99 maple syrup. Thanks Union Market!!!!!11 Paul made some awesome potato-cheese things with home-made pesto. We went crazy adding fruit and things to the waffles. Fun time! Thanks for coming, the three of you who did.

After a quick haircut, I headed to LaGuardia. It remains the most depressing disgusting airport in the world, but also the most conveniently located, so what can you do? I forgot that flying Thursday night means tons of Yids. The plane was like 50% Yid. Particularly annoying: adolescent Yids. They are such entitled pricks. Like leaning back in their seats, asking for extra drinks, yelling down the length of the plane at their friends. It's so ridiculous since they effectively exclude themselves from society (financially, socially, geographically even) and then act like they own the place. Like, get a grip. You don't want to participate in secular society, you don't get an extra ginger ale. FFFFFFF off. One of the flight attendants looked like a cross between Tilda Swinton and Judy Greer. She was tall with long red locks and looked so upset to be there. I loved her a little.
 

Mommy picked me up from the airport which was so nice since it was many hours after her bedtime. The first thing she mentioned was Chicago's XTREME pothole problem. It was ridiculous! There were tons of enormous potholes around the city! For shame, Richard.


FRI/15/FEB
Mom and I went shopping and ate lunch at this new restaurant in the mall. We shared soup and a blt. The blt was stellar. Soup was gross. Then Mom bought me some new bras and underwear and also an APC skirt (on major sale). THANKS MOM UR SO NICE!!! We were going to go see Casablanca at the Music Box, but then I said, 'What if we don't see Casablanca at the Music Box?' And Mom said, 'Yeah I don't care!' So that was fun to change plans at the last minute. Made me feel powerful. Then we shopped more.

Dad made steak and baked potatoes for dinner. Very yummy.

Then I headed down to Hyde Park to Alie's house. Joe decided to go out with his friends who club (douche), so Alie and I had some girl time snuggling up on the couch. Then we went to see Step Up 2: The Streets. I realized when we were in the parking lot that I had been driving without my wallet (which I inadvertently left in my carry-on) the entire time!! So Alie paid for everything and I drove very cautiously (even more so than normal) after that. Step Up 2: The Streets was good. The protagonist was very cute and I fell in love with her sidekick, Moose. He was the best dancer by far. Goddamn. Also the finale was like an urban dance explosion in the rain with popping and locking and body rolls jfieoameoa so good.

Also it has that AWESOME Flo Rida song.
DOWNLOAD HERE!!

SAT/16/FEB

Happy birthday Lindsay and Ken!! Yaaaaaaaaaaay! Sorry I missed your party Linds. I told Maher to get you some pinot, so I felt like I was there in a removed tannic kinda way. Mom Dad and I went to see Imamura's The Eel. It was good. My favorite part was when the main character (**SPOILER!!1**) set the eel free and said, "No one knows who your father is, but you're still a fantastic eel." It was a tender moment.


We dropped dad off at home, then the ladies went to Trader Joe's which is always a treat because the one in NY is a cluster fuck. We got a bunch of frozen appetizers and a tub of Dunkers.

After dinner (comprised almost entirely of TJ items), Joe and Alie picked me up and we headed to Happy Village. We had some cocktails. I queried Joe about a number of medical topics including heart murmurs and the effects of smoking on heart murmurs. He said he was the only one in his class who was able to hear a heart murmur which led me to believe that he knew what he was talking about. He doesn't.

They were auctioning off the neon signs at Happy Village which made me wonder if they're going out of business. I hope not!!

Later we met up with Mazen and his sfoxy friends at Rainbo. Then we went to McDonalds where I ripped my coat craning to see the late-night menu.

SUN/17/FEB

I haz hang0v3r! I finally roused myself to do laundry and my taxes. Turbo Tax is really as good as everyone says. Dad said I would be "surprised and delighted" by how easy it was to use. I was surprised and delighted.

After taking care of adult responsibilities with the help of my parents, I went shopping with mommy more! THANKS FOR BUYING ME THOSE OTHER THINGS!!!

Then we went to mom's office to take picture of her wares for eBay. My mom's boss has gotten her ensconced in this crazy old person scheme. He works in real estate and because of the crisis, he's not buying or selling presently. So to make money in the meantime, he has my mom go onto liquidation.com and buy lots of various items (including pen drives and broken iPods). She then sells the stuff on eBay and Craigslist. She has like 7 pieces of home exercise equipment in her office (she sold two already).

She has all the iPods labeled with stickies detailing their specific ailment(s).

Anyway, I took lots of pictures of these things. It was weird. Like, that cannot be cost effective if you're paying someone a lot to sell these kind of cheap items. Whatever, desperate times I guess. Mom's an eBay master now, so that's a plus?

After dinner at home, I went down to Alie and Joe's to hang out. We had a list of things to do including listening to my heart murmur and talking about heart murmurs. Also playing Rock Band. Joe gave me an almost full physical (he didn't want to touch my boobs in front of Alison (gentleman)). I'm normal and healthy!! Great great news. Thanks Joe!

We watched some of Reality Bites and I headed home.

MON/18/FEB

Mom drove me to the airport (so nice!!). My flight kept getting delayed for mostly undisclosed reasons. One of the things I know slowed us down, but was worth it, was the de-icing of the wings. It was so awesome. This guy was up on a forklifty thing, first spraying a misty cloudy substance (pictured) and then just hosing the wings down with a very viscus green goo. It was way thicker than car antifreeze. Then it kind of sinisterly dripped off the wings as we waited on the funway for 30 minutes.


I got home to a balmy 60 degree day and an anti-semetic cab driver. I spent the rest of the day with Sam walking around Brooklyn listing reasons we're better than everyone (aka the usual).